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‘Never compare and you’ll always be happy’ suggests the old adage. While there is some truth in this statement, we’re not likely to take much notice. We’re always comparing. No big deal, but how often do we do it in a useful way? Magazines are constantly encouraging comparison (with a view to you purchasing something) – usually to an ‘elite’ group of models or someone with attributes/qualities/possessions we don't have but would like. We often look at the world’s ‘best’ and then we compare ourselves less favorably and harshly..
What chance does the average person have against such odds? It seems the advertising world has this particular trait of human nature on its side. However there is a way that you can use the art of comparison to your benefit and make life easier.
Consider these scenarios
• You are going for a walk and you get caught in a shower without an unbrella.
• You lose your wallet with $100 in it.
• You were looking forward to a quiet day to yourself and some rowdy friends drop in for the afternoon.
In all those circumstances, you have to deal with it. You’re still going to get wet, lose $100 and have your quiet day trampled over by a bunch of rowdies. However the way you ‘frame it up’ or package it in your head makes all the difference.
Here’s how you can use what is termed ‘reframing’ to help you. Since you may not be able to change what is happening, you can at least change your perception or attitude.
While you may be caught in a shower, at least when you get home you can dry off and change into something warm. While you are walking, albeit wet, on your way home, you could ponder how it would feel if you were caught in a cyclone instead of just a shower! Boy, you got wet, that’s all…you didn’t get transported to the neighbouring town! That would have been heaps worse.
So you lost $100 – just as well you hadn't taken out $1,000 !
Hey – at least you have friends! Imagine no one calling to see you at ALL...ever. That would be lonely!
Am I suggesting you stop feeling your natural reactions? Not at all – just keep in mind where those ‘natural’ reactions came from – your spin on ‘reality’. It’s all in your head after all:)
PS I may be describing the world of the optimist here but guess what a pessimist does! When it’s fine weather, they know it will eventually change and become too cold, hot, windy or humid. They don’t enjoy the weather even when its great. How sad is that!?
When they lose the $100 they mentally list all the things they could have bought just 10 minutes before. Now they have even more reason to be miserable.
And as for rowdy friends visiting them, this at least they get spared – after all would you visit this person? |
