Yes I know – I'm taking a risk with a title like that. If you are not religious you might not get past the title. And if you are, or have been religious, you might offended by what I write.
However, let me put this into perspective. I was having a conversation with a coaching client who was struggling with dealing with her own values and that of her religious upbringing. You don't need to know the details because that is not the relevant part of this story.
What is relevant is the struggle between how we are raised as children and what we do today, as fully functioning adults in our daily lives.
Paulo Coelho in his book ‘The Fifth Mountain' describes the journey of Elijah – a reluctant prophet. He didn't want to keep having visions but hey, since they didn't stop, he had little choice. Coelho reckons that every person, at some time in their life, has to, as he puts it, ‘arm wrestle with God'. (I love that phrase! What grand pictures that brings to mind.)
In other words he suggests coming to terms with the God of your heart rather than the God of your upbringing. The internal strife this epic journey causes can be considerable and I clearly remember my own struggle with this.
However, when you emerge (OK, with a few scratches) the view is stunning! The clarity of thought connected to your heart is worth every bit of turmoil. There can now be full ownership of the relationship rather than meek servitude. The religious structure can now be seen in its real value.
But let me broaden this conversation outside of religion, which is where I'm really heading with this.
All of us have been conditioned by our upbringing. There is no way out of that. And some of the habits we take into adulthood serve us well. But some of our habits are not so useful. It take some discernment to know what to keep and what to leave behind – is it baggage (dump it) or luggage (take it along for the journey)?
Children and partners are great at shaking up what is baggage and luggage. So are your every day conflicts. Do you react from old, unexplored patterns or do you search more closely inside for your own guidance system?
Coelho spoke about his transformation during an interview on Radio National. As it happened I had just finished the book a few days earlier and turned on the car radio on the way home from a business trip. I had just been telling my partner, Julie, about what I had read and here he was talking about ‘The Fifth Mountain' – don't you just love that kind of synchronicity?
Coelho was raised a Catholic and before his arm wrestling with God, he could not find peace as an adult, with some of the doctrines of his Church. So when sitting in a certain Cathedral near his home, he was uncomfortable, unsettled. He had not found the God of his heart and the God of his upbringing didn't have the answers to something that is intrinsically internal. After he had gone through his personal ‘arm wrestle with God' and found peace within himself, he could sit in any Church, admire the works of man but now with peace in his heart.
Of course, it was always…an inside job. And I bet ‘God' loves that!
